You've Destroyed Me
by secretpenname3
Summary: I hot flash of anger hits me. It clawed its way into my mind and boiled me alive from the inside. And suddenly, I cant even stand you. I want to hurt you as you have hurt me. sasuXnaru
1. Chapter 1

**You all hate me now, I just know it. But I'm sorry, I know this is probably the third time I've posted this one, but I seriously cant leave it the way it is, I NEEDED to edit this fic because it's always been a the edge of my mind screaming at me to hurry up and fix it up before I embarrass myself even more by letting it float around like I have.**

**FEAR NOT! I still am working on my other stories and I have a few updates in store so please put down the pitch forks and fire.**

**Disclaimer: If I owned the Naruto series I would probably have ran it into the ground with my over active perverted imagination. Let's just leave it at that.**

/././

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I sat motionless and stared at the clock hanging innocently on the wall above the door as time went by singing the same irritating song. I remained indifferent as it went-

Tick, tick

-and tried to imagine that every sound the hand of the clock made was your heart beating in a steady pace. I sit upright in my bed with a glass of cool water in my motionless hands. The room was cold and the sheets where crisp and smelt of medicine and bleach. You sit beside me and lay with your head upon my knee; your black hair splayed across my lap as your nonexistent tears burn my knee.

-tick, tick

A hot flash of anger hits me. It clawed its way into my mind and boiled me alive from the inside and suddenly; I can't even stand you. I want to hurt you as you have hurt me. The water in the glass shook like my hands did. The glass was cool against my rapidly heating body. But you didn't notice did you? You never did, not when it has nothing to do with you.

-tick, tick.

Why the hell are you so calm? You heart goes tick, tick. It's not a fast and rapid beat like that of a distressed and sad person (which is what you are pretending to be right now). You, you're truly not human aren't you? If it doesn't benefit you, you don't even care if the world around you falls apart into a million pieces.

-Tick, tick.

Why do you look so surprised? All I did was throw my cup at the wall. Don't the glass shards look so pretty all over the floor? I think they do, look at how they sparkle in the blinding light of the hospital. Isn't it just marvelous?

Perhaps you're surprised because of the scream that pierced its way out of my raw throat? Or maybe it's because I'm flailing around scratching and clawing at anyone that came near?

Or perhaps is it because I jumped off the bed screaming till my face turned a cherry red and my throat is as raw as ever?

Tell me, tell me, what's the reason?

-Tick, tick.

**You've hurt me.**

You turn your panicked eyes upon mine. You're speaking, saying something. But I don't want to hear it.

(For the first time, I really couldn't give a shit about what the hell you wanted to say)

For years all you have ever said has only served to hurt me; all you've ever _done_ was hurt me.

And now?

**You've destroyed me.**

You cry out my name in desperation, but wait.

Shouldn't I be the one screaming for you?

I take a step back and you follow.

Shouldn't I be doing that?

Shouldn't I be the one following you?

You reach your hand out to me.

Isn't that my job?

-Tick, tick

My anger grows and the white door is slammed open. I have to time to react as I'm tackled down.

-Tick, tick

Nurses are trying to hold me down as you stay back and watch in pain.

You fucker.

It's me that's in pain. I'm the one suffering from the pain that _you've_ caused. The scars on my wrist were no accident. And I'm happy that every time you look at them you fucking_ know_.

-Tick, tick.

It's driving me fucking crazy!

_You're_ driving me crazy! You were always a master at masks; you can hide anything with those fuckers. This is one of them isn't it? You pretend to be scared, hurt, worried, but there's one thing that you can't hide from me.

-Tick, tick.

Your heart sings a steady song while mine slams against my bones!

But yours. Yours barely even beats.

-Tick, tick.

There's a flurry of colors now. I see yellow and amber first; then the face of a woman with a diamond on her forehead. There's a sharp pain and my vision swims.

After that I see pink and green. But then it always has to return to that.

_Black, black, black._

Tick, tick, tick, tick, tick

**You've killed me**

/./.

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**Updates will come faster as I continue to work on editing. This would be so much easier if I had a beta TT^TT**


	2. Pain Inside

**I don't care if I don't get a lot of reviews for this one because this fic will always be my baby and it has a special place in my heart **

**Also I would like to take a moment to say that this fic is going to consist of nothing but choppy sentences and the whole thing will be written in fragmented sentences for a reason. You are looking through the eyes of an emotionally damaged slightly insane human being, their thought processes are always choppy and all over the place, at least in my opinion.**

**Disclaimer: Nope, not yet.**

w_hen all is said and done_

_Will we still feel pain inside?_

_Will the scars go away with night?_

/./.

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Why am I here again? I think I have forgotten.

That doesn't surprise me though, my memories are only puddles at this point; melted dreams wasting away in my mind, clawing at me as if they want to devour me and distract me from what was happening now.

But I won't let them. Silly memories of happier times are just excuses to draw into one's self to avert their eyes from the situation at hand. Memories are death.

Nurses stare at me with a wary look in their eye, especially the older ones, as if they had already seen shinobi lose their minds before. Perhaps they have. I don't give them any outward reactions.

It's been so long since I've spoken; at least that's what they say anyway when they mummer amongst themselves.

But it's a lie.

I'm been screaming this whole time. Why can't they hear me?

Everyday I'm here, boxed in by these white walls, strapped down by these brown restraints, kept cold with these white sheets. They want to lay me down to sleep, but I won't let them.

Stubbornly, I keep my eyes open, I see nothing, but I refuse to sleep. No matter how many needles they stick into my weak body that make my vision swim and my body sleep. My eyes remain will remain open.

You're here again. You lay your head upon my knee and settle there as if you belong there. And the sad thing is that yes, you do belong there. Your warmth seeps into me from just that little contact. And deep within me, somewhere, I'm screaming for more.

You move you head to my chest now, and you climb onto the bed, ripping off the sheets. Your eyes are black and endless, your mouth moves but I can't hear what you say.

I don't want to.

You seem to sense my refusal and you touch my face, dragging the rough pads of your fingers across my cheek, as if trying to draw me from my shell.

I search your eyes. They will tell me what you wish to say. I try with what's left of me to find something, _anything_ to tell me what your mouth wants to say, I look for the smallest hint of a spark in your eyes. But they remain dark. Dark like your softly beating heart that remains singing that annoying steady song.

Dark like your silky hair that clashes with mine. Your face twists into something horrible. As if you are sad. But you're not.

Your eyes won't lie.

I remain motionless as you slowly undo my restraints. You keep repeating something, saying words that no longer hold any meaning to me.

You hold my face in your hands and speak. You face gives me an expression of desperation but your eyes remain as stones.

**Your dead and you're trying to kill me too.**

Giving in (like I always seem to do. Pathetic aren't I?) I strain to actually listen.

At first it's only a muffled sound of words. And little by little, it became clearer and clearer.

"s'ten oo ai oice"

"L'sten to m boice"

"Listen to my voice."

I stare at you but never utter a word. You let go of my face and begin trailing your fingers across my chest.

Without my wanting it to, my body tingles and begins to warm in all the places you touch me.

"I'll make you feel good." You whispered into my ear.

Unwillingly I shivered.

With your sharp eyes you noticed my response right away, as little as it was, and continued. I tried to remain unresponsive and tried to pull up my walls. But you, you fucking spoiled child. You are slowly breaking down them down.

Brick by brick. And there's nothing I can do.

"I'll make you forgive me. Little by little." You kissed a trail down my neck and began urgently stripping me of my clothes.

"Give into me." You muttered into my ear, licking it.

God knows that I don't want to but you make it so fucking hard not to. Not when you gave me that kiss.

/./.

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**More coming surprisingly soon~!**


	3. Out Of Reach

**If anyone didn't get the memo, this fic is obviously rated M like a good majority of my other stuff.**

**Disclaimer: No, no, no, NO.**

_Heart skipped a beat_

_And when I caught it you were out of reach_

_But I'm sure, I'm sure_

_You've heard if before_

_Sometimes I still need you_

_-Heart skipped a beat by the Xx's_

I hate you for doing this to me.

I hate myself for wanting it so much more than you.

You kiss a trail down my neck and bury your hands in my dull hair.

I wonder what it is you are trying to accomplish by doing this. Are you just feeding your obsession of having things under your control?

Or do you genuinely want this? Want me?

I doubt it. Truly, truly doubt it.

I can't help the gasp that cuts its way out of my lips as you lick a sensitive spot just right above my hip bone. I can't help how my hands bury into your hair either.

Why? Why am I letting you do this? Why do I let you do whatever the hell you want? Am I really that weak?

I cry out as you take me, hot and needy, into your moist mouth. Your fingers tremble but remain firm. As if you're using a lot of self-control to not just turn me over and plunge in.

I wish you would. If you did then maybe it'll hurt that much more, maybe then I won't have to look at your face. Maybe then it'll be more of a punishment than a delightful sin.

Of course. You're never like that; you always make things slow, always calculating with your black eyes.

You turn from me for a second, and reach into your discarded pants for something but the only thing I see is your back.

An uneasy feeling seeps into my stomach as I stare at your back. You've always, no matter what found a way to walk away. And to tell you the truth…Sasuke…

"I.."

You turn to me in shock. This being the first time I have spoken in months.

I continued; my voice scratchy from the time it hasn't been used. I licked my lips and tried to tell you.

"I'm getting really sick and tired of seeing your back." I hissed, anger seeping into my being. And suddenly, I couldn't believe myself. I couldn't believe I almost let you do this to me.

I ripped the sheets from the ground and throw them over myself. Not wanting you to see me. Or the old scars. But it's too late, you've see them.

"It's your fault." I accused. "These scars are here because of you." My voice is rising and you move closer to keep me quiet.

"I came back." You tried to defend yourself.

"No! You didn't come back! Your body did but not you!"

You turn your sharp endless eyes to mine, watching. I placed my hands upon your cheeks and pull you closer to look into your eyes as if to prove my point. But you, you truly are a great pretender. I freeze as you suddenly kiss me.

My body is weak and against my will it's still calling, calling for you like my voice never could.

"You didn't come back either." You whispered into my lips.

Cold.

I feel cold.

You kiss my frozen lips and lay me down, pulling the sheets away from me once again. Exposing me.

"We're still out there." You whisper into the cold white room. "But you're not moving. You're just sitting there."

You trail your fingers across my body, watching me.

"This place is killing us. Poisoning our blood."

You coat your fingers in the liquid you retrieved from your pants and slip them within me. And once again, my body gets hotter and hotter.

"This place is controlling you." You hiss, kissing me.

With your other hand, you take my thin wrist and show it to me.

"Look at what they made you do." You mutter into my ear, forcing me to look upon my scarred flesh. "They lay you down here and you let them. You let them keep you motionless with their needles. But, Naruto…"

I shudder as you take your fingers out and I don't resist as you spread my legs. I can't help but tense as you place yourself at my entrance.

"Let me move your body." You whisper.

You penetrate me. I cry out your name as you move deep within me, moving touching me in places no one else ever will.

In out, in out, in out.

Empty full, empty full, empty full.

I have no choice but to hold onto you. You don't seem to mind that my nails are digging into your back.

It hurts. It hurts in ways I can't describe. But along with that it feels so good. And I feel better than I have in so many years. I still don't understand. But I feel you. And I guess, for once, I will stop fighting you.

You grunt as I wrap my legs around you and pull you closer; deeper.

I want to tell you how I feel. I want to tell you how much it hurt seeing you after you came back home, seeing you walk down the streets, cold and emotionless as if you weren't there. And I knew you weren't.

You were only going through the motions of a person who came home from a long journey. And it tore me apart.

I thought it was entirely my fault. And maybe it is.

I tried to keep away from my thoughts, so I punished myself.

Perhaps I still am.

I arch into you as you hit spots I never knew were there. You grab my hip hard enough to bruise and entwine one of my hands with yours.

You're close aren't you?

That's okay. So am I.

I shout as I fall into oblivion. Your hands squeezes mine as you spill into me, filling me with you. And for once,

It's okay.

/./.

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**Music jamming session! Who's with me? **


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